A butcher shop posted this sign and now the photo of it keeps appearing in my facebook feed, mostly from carnists who enjoy its clever stab at us vegans. But the joke is actually taken from the vegan comedian Myq Kaplan:
“When you’re vegan people think you’re weak, because, look [gestures to himself]. But I will fight anybody in here… I don’t know, in 40 years, when I’m still alive, and you’re not, probably, because I read a statistic that said vegetarians live an average of 7 years longer than non-vegetarians. Vegans live up to 15 years longer because we’re not invited anywhere fun or dangerous. So… we sit at home, crying and drinking — careful not to cry into the drink, because tears are a product of animal suffering.”
There’s some truth to the joke — vegans are perceived as weak, which is something I’ve written about in earlier posts, and a vegetarian/vegan diet is associated with longer, healthier lifespans. I’m finding it difficult to continue writing this blog post though; it’s hard to see through all my tears.